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Below are the 6 most recent journal entries recorded in Ex-Polyamourists' LiveJournal:

Monday, October 6th, 2008
2:37 pm
[lotusbites]
please delete me.
Please remove me as a member,
I really only signed up to get an answer to a question.
Thanks
Sunday, October 5th, 2008
2:30 am
[scifigal]
Some good things that came from the poly community
I am definitely in the not-poly crowd, but I'll be honest--I learned a lot of cool things from that community.

I learned wonderful phrases like "radical honesty" which, I'll admit, were better in theory, especially since my partner was withholding important emotional information from me while I was PROCESSING PROCESSING PROCESSING all my emotional garbage because we were supposed to have been doing the "radical honesty" thing with one another.

I learned great communication techniques. That book "The Ethical Slut" contains such great advice on how to communicate with one another. Things like "how to deal with jealousy" are great, because jealousy can spring up over things like hobbies and work, and it helps!

I began to recognize the difference between an emotional reaction and how you really feel about something. Working through the first time my boyfriend was going on a date with someone, it was really really difficult to distinguish the difference, but I really worked on it.

I discovered that I am truly singularly focused, and that when I become very interested in someone, I lose interest in everyone else. Sure, you could chalk that up to NRE, but really, I would rather work on "recapturing interest" than to grab NRE from somewhere else.

So yes, good things have come from me working through poly relationships. A really good thing was realizing that monogamy for me was not simply a culturally defined phenomenon--not a learned thing--it was who I was.
Tuesday, August 19th, 2008
8:27 am
[lotusbites]
Advice Please
I have a friend who has decided that she only wants to date people that are poly.  She is bi but her last 2 relationships have been with poly men that were manipulative and self-centered.  I feel that as long as she is seeking out poly relationships that she will never be happy.  I also worry that she may be choosing people from this lifestyle because she is currently interested in men but worries that monogamous men will judge her for being bi.  She has never said this, so maybe it is just me trying to make sense of seems like a bizarre choice.  How can I talk to her about this?  I am trying to understand why anyone would identify as 'poly' as opposed to just saying that they are not interested in commitment.  I don't really get it.

Signed,
married, mono, and loving every minute of it.

Current Mood: confused
Thursday, May 8th, 2008
2:56 pm
[mizsubways]
Facebook ex-poly is now called "questioning polyamory"
I just changed the name of the new group I started on facebook, because I realized that if I were joining the group, it's like broadcasting an identity that many folks may just be thinking about. I want it to be open to people who are exploring the ideas and may not be ready to leave polyamory behind forever.
: )
1:00 pm
[mizsubways]
Please check out ex-poly on Facebook
Hi all,
I'm not really on LiveJournal, but I joined so I could see this group. I think it's incredibly important and could have spared me some major anguish if I'd seen it sooner, along with the ex-poly group on tribe.net, which also seems to be dormant now.

Anyways, I am on Facebook and have a lot of friends there, but I'm not sure if any of them will want to join the new ex-poly group I just started. So right now it's just me. I guess that all my life I haven't been afraid to go out on a limb! But it would be so great to have some support. So please join and support me and the group!

Thanks!

Suzy
Thursday, June 21st, 2007
3:37 pm
[ydnic]
Moderator needed
Folks,

I am in the process of "summer cleaning" and, thus, I'm considering leaving this group. However, since I'm the moderator, I can't do that...unless someone else wishes to moderate. Please let me know by commenting here or emailing me.

Thanks!
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